The Committal/Farewell is an opportunity for you to offer one last collective thought/message of love/gratitude/farewell to your loved one. Below are some examples of wording and phrases that I show my families…. examples that cover a traditional feel through to casual, sentimental to impassive, long to short and all manners in between. Obviously these are generic, but the exercise here is not for a family to simply pick a verse, but rather to take whatever they want from these examples. It is in the act of empowerment and encouragement that we can help families make sense of their own thoughts and devise meaningful and appropriate messages of love and farewell that is unique to that person, allowing everyone present to connect on a deep level and process the reality of the loss.
Similarly, some families choose to have a poignant poem instead of personal words. There’s no wrong or right, only what feels comfortable and appropriate. But below are some examples that give families a starting point in creating their own farewell message:
[1] [name]… your life we honour. Your departure we accept. Your memory we cherish.
And although there is grief today as we say goodbye, there is gratitude for your life.
We are truly grateful for the privilege of having shared life with you.
But rest now at the end of your days. Rest in the hearts and minds of all those who love you.
And so with love we shall leave you in peace.
And with respect we bid you a fond farewell.
[2] [name]… may your love be reflected in all who knew you, and may you continue to live on through the lives of those you leave behind.
Your legacy is the memory of a great name and a great example.
And so, into the freedom of wind and sunshine
We let you go
Into the dance of the moon and planets
We let you go
Into the wind’s breath and the hands of the star maker
We let you go
And into the sadness and smiles of our memories
We let you go
Go safely, go with love in your heart, and may you forever be at peace.
[3] [name]… you are so dearly loved. You are in our hearts and our minds, and we’ll carry you with us as we move forward with our lives.
Everything you have done is still done.
Everyone you love is still loved.
Everything we’ve learnt from you is still learnt.
And so we will let you pass from this world for which you did so much,
For which you continue to do.
Because when we walk this earth, we walk it with you.
You leave us with the strength and pride to do what is good and right,
And your memory will guide us just as you did when you were at our side.
For this we say thank you, and goodbye.
Dearest [Wife, Mum, Nan, Cousin, Aunt etc] and loyal friend.
[4] [name], as we bid you farewell, we are thankful to have shared joy in the sun, shelter in the storms, and to have laughed in the same moment.
We will treasure the memory of your words and works, your character and quality, and will be forever enriched for having known your face.
And so your kind and generous nature we commit to our memories.
Your love, humour and friendship we commit to our hearts.
Your body we commit to its end with nature.
Thank you for all that you were and all that you gave.
Love and light to you on this your final journey.
[5] To everything there is a season and time to every purpose here on earth; a time to be born and a time to die.
In sadness at her death but with appreciation of her life, we remember [name] and acknowledge the significance and value she has brought to your lives.
But now it’s time to say a final goodbye, committing her body to be cremated and thus committing her memory to our hearts for the rest of our days.
In love we leave her in peace. And with respect we bid her farewell.
[6] [name], there is sadness in our hearts as we say goodbye, but there is profound gratitude for your life, and you will never be forgotten.
When we are weary and in need of strength,
When we are lost and sick at heart
Response: We will remember you.
When we have a joy we crave to share,
When we have decisions that are hard to make
Response: We will remember you.
At the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter,
At the opening of the buds and in the rebirth of spring
Response: We will remember you.
At the blueness of the skies and in the warmth of summer,
At the rustling of the leaves and in the beauty of autumn
Response: We will remember you.
As long as we live, you too will live
For you are now a part of us,
Response: as we remember you.
Thank you [name] for all you were and all that you gave.
Love and light on this your final journey.
[7] [name] go forth from this world knowing that you are loved beyond measure;
That you will be missed more than words can say; that you will be remembered and cherished, and that love will never end.
We will hold you close within us, and there you will remain
To be with us throughout our lives, until we meet again.
And as we now hold your memory in our hearts and send you on your final journey,
May you forever rest in peace with the certain knowledge that our love goes with you.
[8] [name], what a wonderful life you lived and what an impact you have made on others. There’s no doubt today that at the end of your time here you’ve left behind so many hearts that are aching, you’ve left so many tears of and pains of grief, but my goodness, you’ve left behind so many warm memories and a beautiful legacy of love for your family and friends.
And so, it’s with love and gratitude that we now commit all these fond memories to be locked away in our hearts as we gently yield your body to its end with nature.
We celebrate you, we honour you, but most of all we pay tribute to that consistent love and sense of fun that you always shared so willingly with your family and the comradeship with your friends. And we’re never going to forget you. In that certain knowledge may you rest in peace.
[9] It is with such sadness we say goodbye to you [name], but we thank you so much for every little gift you have contributed to this life and to the lives of others.
We thank you for your strength of character, and for being the face of reassurance in times of difficulty.
We thank you for your understanding, unwavering support, and your dedication and devotion to your family.
We thank you for your [presence, your perseverance, your determination to be the best you could be.]
We thank you for your [daft humour, your wonderful smile, and the times you made us laugh.]
We thank you for the [magic you wove into life, and for your level headed perspectives and optimism.]
And we thank you for your [charisma, for your love of laughter, and for being the perfect example of the true meaning and wealth in this life.]
But most of all we thank you for your love and for your friendship; for the time and effort you put into our lives, for your thoughts and deeds, your cuddles and care, and for your kind and humble heart.
We thank you [name] for everything you were and all that you gave, and may you now forever rest in peace with the certain knowledge that you were, are, and will always be, dearly loved and terribly missed.
Farewell.
[10] Thank you for your friendship and loyalty, for the good times and the difficulties that have provided the opportunity for change and transformation.
Thank you for the legacy you have left, for your creativity and inspiration, your guidance and your counsel.
Thank you for your care and dedication to humanity.
Thank you for the kindness and compassion you showed in times of great personal duress. Thank you for your smile and the magic you wove into the lives of those around you.
Thank you for being you. This community is a far richer place for your presence amongst us. Our love is with you wherever you are.
[11] [name], we honour your life and are blessed to have heard your laughter, seen your smile and felt your reassuring hand in ours. Our lives are richer for having known you and having shared in the love you gave us and the love we felt for you. You are no longer bound by this world, but a part of it. No longer tied to one place or one time, but free. And so we ask that you go now, with all our love, as tenderly and reverently we yield your body to be cremated. Earth to earth, Ashes to ashes, Dust to dust.
At the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter, at the opening of the buds and in the rebirth of spring, we will remember you
At the blueness of the skies and in the warmth of summer, at the rustling of the leaves and in the beauty of the autumn, we will remember you.
[12] Sometimes there just aren’t the words. No words are adequate. Instead, we can harness our ability to feel and think and express in our own special ways, and so we’re going to say our goodbye’s to [name] by listening to a poignant song, and by honing in on your own individual emotions. But we do say this: [name], thank you for the gift you have been to us. May you rest in peaceful sleep now, knowing that you will be forever loved, and terribly missed. [Music plays]
[13] Thank you [name]. Thank you for being you. May you now rest in peaceful sleep and know that wherever you are, our love goes with you.
[14] We honour your journey through life, and we remember with gratitude your deep love for your children, family and friends. We are grateful that you have been a part of our lives but we now wish you well on the next part of your journey. May you travel safely, and know that our love goes with you.
[15] [name], as we share this moment together, it is with love and unity that we acknowledge what you brought to each of the lives here today and therefore what is now missing in your physical absence. There can be no doubt that there have been many tears shed and many hearts broken, but we also know that an energy as [beautiful and vibrant etc] as yours cannot help but remain in the hearts of all those who love you … and it will be this that drives us on, until the time comes for us to meet once more. Until that day [name], your ability to shine in the darkest of moments shall continue to light our way, as we laugh, love and live with every ounce of our being in your memory. The energy of your life we promise to embrace as we simply say thank you and farewell.